I laugh and cry along with audiobooks as if the authors are my newest gal pals. That counts, right? Except, ya know, it doesn’t.
The world constantly tells us how women are lonely and how female best friendships impact the quality of our lives like nothing else. So my question is: where is everyone? No matter the genre of book or the social circle, it’s easy to feel connected online because you have a vast expanse of people all over the world—you cast a really wide net on the world wide web. But what about in our everyday lives? Thoughts of FOMO or envy creep in when looking at the next best girl trip online or a spa date with a friend until I realize I have absolutely none of those types of friends in my life. None that live close to me anyway, or that I have any plans to meet up with regularly.
It’s a really strange duality—to feel like you’re on your own path, doing the deep work, elevating, raising your vibration, and upgrading your social circle—except there’s no one else physically standing in your circle.
You probably, like me, have dearest girlfriends that you pour your heart and dreams out to via group text or voice notes. When I look back at my former days in network marketing, I ask myself: what about it did I actually fall in love with? What made me totally glaze over the fact that none of us were making any money, we were spending a ton of it, and yet we were having the best time? What made me love those so-called hustle friendships?
The conferences and retreats felt like slumber parties. Laughing until we cried, peed our pants, or both. Being able to travel and soak up all that girl-power energy—the kind that made us feel like we could take over the world. Unfortunately, it was just connected to something that none of us actually wanted to be in. Maybe we didn’t know it at the time. Or maybe we did, but we were really there for each other.
We were there for looking forward to a big trip, room service, getting our hair and nails done, acting like it was something we normally did. We were all showing up as our best selves because we all believed in ourselves—and each other—more than we could possibly articulate. We loved getting checked in on by our friends, having weekly Zoom calls, and sharing all the coolest ways we found to present. The reason I was able to attract people into my team in that kind of work is that I meant it. It was the most fun. I loved it. I loved our products. I loved the people. I just wasn’t good at the business and, really, had no desire to be. I didn’t get it. It’s not that I don’t think network marketing is a viable income solution for a very specific few people—I just wasn’t one of those very specific few people.
When I look at the best jobs I’ve had, it was usually because I made the best friendships I didn’t know I needed.
Then comes adulthood. Maybe kids. Education. Some travel. And then comes all the reading about how to be a better leader, how to be more efficient, how to have a really clean car and a phenomenal meal prep. We listen to all the TED Talks on being a better leader, a better listener, and a better human being in general. We go to the gym. We like nice workout clothes. We feel much better with a manicure and a green juice. We are just as thrilled to be in a super cute coffee shop with a chunky sweater and some sort of $8 latte that we just can’t get enough of.
We disguise the fact that we want to be together and in community under the mask of productivity. We say we’re girl bosses. We say we’re hustlers.
Maybe we’re not.
Maybe, deep down, like me, there’s a whole bunch of people that want success for themselves and the idea that they get to be totally themselves. But there comes a certain level where you’ve read a book that you could have written, and you’ve been on the same trip over and over again, and you just flat-out can’t fix the fact that you’re lonely.
There’s an old quote about how it’s lonely at the top. But when you study truly successful people, you know that’s 100% a complete lie.
The conspiracy theorist in me wants to believe that I must leave everything I’ve ever known to reach this 1% type of success. But I think that’s actually the antithesis of femininity. Whether you have kids or not, divine femininity and divine girlhood live inside all of us. I actually think women know we are here—we are the tide that raises all ships. And we want to be.
Yet there’s a societal lie that tells us it’s too much. It’s too hard. You need a break. Microwave this food. Get a nanny. Outsource everything.
What if we like doing all the things? What if we don't?
I love knowing that I can write and execute a profitable business plan, and I also love the challenge of learning how to have this fantasy garden I dream of. There’s a void that women are looking to fill that has everything to do with the little girl inside of them. It’s not about glitz, glamour, fame, or money. It’s outside of what society keeps telling us we should be doing. What if I want to be exactly the girl I am and do what I love, have multiple projects and make absolute bank. What if it was normal for women to love their lives and not worry about money because they know they are bad asses at making it?
I’ve had the absolute privilege of working with other women for the past decade in a deeply intimate role. And I can promise you that no matter the socioeconomic demographic, we are all little girls at heart. We all want to be hugged. We all want to gush about the best book we just read, cry, have inside jokes, have really good snacks, go on adventures, work out, and have someone to talk about it all with.
So I created Saturday Social Circles. Six weeks of virtual meetups where we actually prioritize social wellness—where we get to have fun, learn something new, and build real friendships, without networking, selling, or fixing ourselves. Just high-quality, meaningful connection.
And after six weeks? We meet up in real life for the True North Retreat—three nights and four days of gourmet food, luxury accommodations, scavenger hunts, and s’mores. (YAY!)
With love and giggles,
Stephanie
Official resume: I am the CEO of a startup that was profitable the first year, have a BS in Integrated Neuroscience from a top research University, Masters degree in Recreation and was a full ride scholarship recipient for International Graduate work in Leadership.
Much more relevant: I make the best lemonade you've ever had, I already love you and want to hug you, it took me a long time to find my voice professionally and I am genuinely stoked about life. Let's be hype-girl friends.
If this sounds like you: www.truenorthreset.com
